Review of “Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex”

I recently got a hold of a copy of Penny Flame’s Expert Guide to Rough Sex. As most of my regular readers know, I an avid fan of rough sex. In fact, I very much prefer it over regular, or “vanilla” sex. So, having some experience in that particular area myself, I was curious to see what this DVD had to offer.

Quite honestly, I don’t follow too many mainstream porn stars, so I wasn’t overly familiar with Penny’s work. I had no expectations whatsoever about the video, and was prepared to evaluate it purely as a practitioner and one who likes to encourage people to explore their own sexual boundaries. So, let’s get started.

First off, a little note to Vivid Entertainment: I absolutely HATE being forced to sit through five minutes of ads for phone sex and sex toys. I realize this is a necessary marketing tool and is used in “regular” porn DVDs, but this isn’t a regular porno, it’s an instructional video. Allegedly. Make the ads optional in the future, please. kthxbai.

Now onto the main body of the video itself. Penny starts right off making the point that rough sex can be more intimate than vanilla sex. I absolutely agree with that. You have to have even more trust in a partner to participate in rough sex than you do with vanilla sex. You wouldn’t let someone you didn’t trust slap you, would you? No, of course not.

She takes us through a series of instructional bits, the totality of which are fairly comprehensive, including the selection of a safe word. This is *critical* to rough play. A former girlfriend and I used to engage in some very rough sex, sometimes bordering on violent sex, and have used safe words for as long as I can remember. To this day, I use  “yellow” as a warning when the other is approaching a limit, and “red” to engage an immediate stop. So, on this point, the video is great.

The video fails to mention taps or some other physical act you can do if your mouth or throat is full of cock (or if your head is buried in a pillow) and you can’t vocalize, however. If your partner has his cock in your throat for several seconds, you need to have a tap (or some other physical) signal that indicates you’re getting close (one tap), and a second that says “stop” (two or three taps). The lack of this is a surprising oversight, actually.

Penny does stress the importance of communication pretty regularly, and also mentions during the scene she shoots later with Derrick that it is essential to maintain a constant two-way communication with your partner, either verbally or through eye contact, as your sex session progresses.

She covers areas of the body that are “safe” for hitting (most meaty places on the body), and those that are unsafe (i.e., the throat, the sternum, spine, eyes, ears, etc.). She spends a good deal of time discussing face slapping as well, including both the physical and psychological aspects that could come into play. Face slapping is one of those potentially triggering kinds of activities, and if there’s not a really good line of communication going on, it could generate some problems. That actually becomes a bit of an issue in one of the scenes later on the DVD.

They don’t cover spitting in any detail, even though she mentioned it in her list of what constituted “rough sex.” Spitting is one of those things that is becoming a bit more common in rough sex play, largely because you’re seeing it in porn more these days. It has the potential for being just as triggering and/or psychologically impactful as slapping does. I wish she’d discussed it a bit.

Let me also state for the record, I melt every time I hear Penny use the term “play” when she’s talking about fucking a partner. To me, sex is one of the most incredible ways to engage with another human being, and though it is a serious subject (health, consensuality, etc.), if you treat it as play and not this “oh-so-serious OMG only do it when you want a baybee” kind of thing that some people would have you do, it can be an incredible interpersonal experience in and of itself.

One other shortcoming I found in this is that the instructions only discussed physical contact with hands. There was no mention of rough face/throat fucking. Penny is roughly face fucked in the first sex scene that follows the instructions. Now, I suppose one could make the assumption that, if you’re watching this, you probably already know about that, but for many rough sex n00bs, face fucking is their first foray into the realm of rough play. And, if done incorrectly, you can end up with vomit on your cock in the best case, or a damaged throat in the worst case. Perhaps “The Slut’s Expert Guide to Face and Throat Fucking” is in the offing.

They also don’t talk seriously about choking and breath play at the outset. This, too, surprises me because the first scene involves extensive choking play. The little Penny angel does pop into her scene with Derrick at one point to say that you need to be careful, that he can crush your windpipe, but fails to mention cutting off blood to the brain if you apply pressure to the wrong places. There is a “bonus scene” that demonstrates how to choke your partner in the extras on the DVD. But in my opinion, this should have been included in the original instruction set since you see it used throughout all of the scenes that follow. She spends a lot of time discussing the ramifications of slapping the face, but hardly any on the much more safety-serious issue of choking play. I’m afraid some people may not even bother to check the bonus material and miss it altogether.

Anyway, having said all of that, let’s get on with the individual scenes.

The first scene involves Penny and Derrick Pierce, and the entire thing from start to finish is incredibly hot. Derrick starts out with some pretty serious throat fucking of Penny, to the point where you see tears coming from her eyes. She’s already indicated throughout the instructional part of the video that she’s a big fan of being slapped in the face, spanked, etc., and you see plenty of that during their scene. The chemistry they have is palpable, and you can tell they’re both very much into what they’re doing. It is fun to watch two people enjoy sex like this.

There’s one section of their scene where Derrick is fucking her on the couch, when he bends down, grabs her by the jaw and tells her she’s a fucking slut, spits in her mouth, and then slaps her very hard a couple of time across the face. I almost creamed myself right then.

They rotate through a series of positions, and at the end Derrick cums on Penny’s face, then throws her on the couch. She reaches over and grabs her Hitachi and finished herself off, with his cum still on her face. Very hot.

Aiden Starr and Devin do a female dominant scene for us next. And though femdom sex does little to arouse me, I think this scene is an excellent way to demonstrate that rough sex play doesn’t always have to involve the female on the receiving end, which is the stereotype you get from the majority of porn. Kudos for including it in the mix.

Devin makes Aiden beg as though he were a little puppy, and slaps his nipples into next year. Throughout the scene, he’s basically a little dog servicing his master, and she’s slapping him, spanking his ass, choking him, and forcing him to beg her to allow him access to her cunt.

The scene ends with him cumming in her hands, and then him eating some spilled cum and her cunt juice off her pussy, arms, hands, etc. She tells him to “Lick your fucking dog juice off my fucking fingers.” 😆

The third and final scene involves Lexi Belle and Mark Davis (Mark’s put on some serious weight, btw! WTF?). Lexi is a doll – she reminds me of someone, but I can’t for the life of me think of who it is. I’ve seen one other review of this DVD, and the reviewer mentions that this is her least favorite scene of the bunch. And quite honestly, as I watched through the first half of it, I had a similar feeling about it. That changed near the end, though.

They start out talking, individually, about limits and the need for communication. Lexi says she’s a submissive and she pretty much is throughout the entire scene. Mark, on the other hand, talks about pushing partners to their limits (many of you will be familiar with him from his work on the Sex and Submission site operated by And he definitely pushes Lexi to hers.

They use a section of this scene to demonstrate the body language you’ll see from a partner when s/he’s at their physical limit. Mark spanks Lexi very hard and you can see it gets quite painful for her. Her body language has her pulling away and guarding, which you’ll see in someone who’s wanting to withdraw from whatever they’re doing.

I get the impression throughout this scene that A) Lexi isn’t taking this as seriously as Mark is (she spends a lot of time giggling, probably nervously), and B) Lexi’s never done an intense, rough scene like this before. I’m not familiar with her work, so I don’t know if that second point is accurate or not. I just didn’t get the warm and fuzzy “connectedness” out of this scene that I’d prefer (either in video or in my own personal sex). She actually looks legitimately scared in a couple of places, and that disturbs me on a personal level.

But, god, she looks so sexy standing there with him slapping her tits, and then he pulls her hands behind her, grabs and handful of her hair and rails her from behind. Very hot. Then it gets even more interesting.

At one point, Mark slaps her hard for biting his lip and she starts crying. Penny breaks in (audio) and points out that, as soon as Mark realizes she’s crying, he slows down and checks in with her, calms her down, and let’s her catch up. The point is made that, in a scene as charged as this is, the slap brought a huge emotional release from her. This reaches back to the point she made in the instructional segment about face slapping being extremely intense psychologically. Face slapping, as a form of rough sex play is not for beginners, in my opinion, and this is why – it can easily lead to a misunderstanding between partners for the inexperienced.

After she calms down, she slowly begins fucking him and in rather short order she’s cumming on his cock, mere seconds after having been slapped into crying. The scene is intense, and speaks to the emotional impact that rough sex play can create. She comes down and backs off of him and take’s his cock in her mouth. He pulls her away from him and asks her if she’s okay. She says she is. He then cums on her face. She winds down into the floor into an almost fetal position, emotionally drained.

Say what you will about the “fakeness” of actors and actresses when making most porn, but it is very clear here that this was very emotionally trying for her. She stuck through it and probably experienced some feelings she hadn’t expected. Sometimes it’s all about pushing your own boundaries, and that’s one way rough sex can be a strong positive for you. You just have to be aware of that and understand what’s going on and how to deal with it. Again, this sort of play, at this level, is not for beginners.

That wraps up the video, and it fades to the credits.

In the Bonus Scene section, you have the option of watching the three original sex scenes without instructions and comments over them. There’s also the aforementioned video about choking, as well as a video on safer sex practices, including a funny looking demo of a guy using a latex glove for rimming. 😆

In the final evaluation, the video did a good job of explaining what rough sex is about, the necessity of communication before AND during the sex (including the use of safe words), and how to use impact play with the hands. I think it fell short in integrating the essential points of choking and breath play with the main video material, failed to mention spitting (other than a cursory inclusion in the list of rough play possibilities), and neglected to include the need for discussing non-verbal safe signals in the event verbals safe words aren’t possible.

Overall, though, the video is *definitely* recommended for those considering adding rough sex play to their sexual repertoire. I’m very glad to see this kind of video hit the streets because I know there’s a huge interest in rougher forms of sex play, and there’s not a lot of good quality material out there about it.

And, finally, even though she’s gotten out of porn, Penny Flame is now on my official list of women I’d die to fuck.  Just sayin.  😉

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