A couple of commenters on my post on dirty sex asked about the mechanics of giving yourself an enema. And while it may not seem like rocket science at first blush, it is quite possible to do some damage if you do it wrong, use them too often, or use the wrong combination of substances. And are enemas even necessary?
Let me start out with a little bit of A&P and explanations about why things work the way they do there. Some of this will be review for those of you who’ve been reading me for a while (or know your rectums), but bear with me. Let me also preface this by saying that, obviously, I’m not a medical doctor. This information is based on my personal knowledge (gained through years of study) and experience. As with anything involving sexuality and indeed the human body in general, your experience may vary. So if you plan on getting into the really hard core, seriously intense butt secks, go about it gradually.
The Rectum & Anal Sex
The average length of the rectum is about 5 to 6 inches in most people (regardless of gender). When you combine this with the 1-2 inches of the anal canal, there’s about 6-8 inches of tube to play with before you have to worry about too much else. Like everything else with the human body, though, the specifics will differ from one person to the next. Your rectum may be smaller or larger than mine. 😉
At the back end of the rectum you’ll find a roughly 90-degree bend at the junction with the Sigmoid colon. There’s a little valve (muscle) at that junction that closes to hold back feces until it is time for a bowel movement. When the body decides it’s time to go to the bathroom, the muscle relaxes and the fecal matter enters the rectum, whereupon you get this “full” feeling that lets you know it’s time to take a shit. Until that point, however, the rectum itself is largely devoid of anything, and is sort of collapsed upon itself, creating a “potential space” (not unlike the vagina). That means you can insert a cock, dildo, butt plug, or just about anything of the right size into it (the rectum itself will accommodate a fist).
At the entrance to the rectum is the anus (from the Latin for ring), of course. The anus is the very front end of what is actually known as the anal canal, a roughly 1-2 inch muscular tube. The little brown starfish you see as the anus is the external sphincter. You have total control over this one – you can relax or contract it as you so desire with the right amount of patience and practice.
There’s an internal sphincter, as well; You have little, if any direct control over this muscle. It is controlled by the autonomic nervous system and reacts to stimuli received by other parts of the body. When your rectum is full and the fecal matter begins to push against its walls, the internal sphincter will relax in order to facilitate evacuation of your bowels. Think about how you have to really tighten your external sphincter to keep yourself from having an accident sometimes. That will help you understand how the two work. And, by the way, as you learn to control your external sphincter muscles, you also gain some control over the internal one as well. As you practice anal penetration you’ll be able to relax the internal muscles a bit, faciltating penetration by a cock or a toy.
When a cock (or anything else) pushes into your asshole it has to make it through both of these little doorways. So long as you push through gently (or have an experienced receiver who knows how to relax both), things will generally go well and it won’t hurt. It’s the inner sphincter that tends to tighten up involuntarily when you’re scared of being penetrated and causes the pain most people experience with anal penetration, by the way.
The Pleasure of Butt Sex
So, given the way things are constructed there, and the information about how they work, how does one feel pleasure during anal sex? There are generally three major components that come into play during anal sex.
First, there’s the direct stimulation of the anus. The anus is packed with thousands of nerve endings, and is one of the most erogenous spots on the human body. And, just like any other collection of little nerve endings, they tend to feel good when they’re stimulated positively. This positive stimulation takes place with direct contact (such as the tongue running circles around it), or through being exercised (i.e., expanded and contracted), such as happens when something pushes through it.
The second aspect is the mimicking of the process of filling your rectum and emptying it. Most people enjoy the sensation of taking a dump – the emptying of the bowels (admit it – you do!). When you’re penetrated anally, you feel this fullness, and then when the penetrating object is withdrawn, you feel as though you’ve just gone to the bathroom. The repetitive cycle of fullness and emptying of the rectum (through the thrusting of a nice, long cock or dildo) is one of the best things about anal sex to me.
The third component involves the interconnectivity the sphincter muscles have with the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles (sometimes referred to as the Kegels). These are the muscles that give you your orgasm – the waves you feel are the PC muscles flexing and contracting. The muscles that comprise the sphincters are directly connected to the PC muscles, and if they’re being exercised (through penetration), they help to extend the orgasm’s impact across the entire back end in addition to what’s going on in your genitals and pelvic floor. This broadens the depth of your orgasm.
The easiest way to feel this in action is to insert your little finger into your asshole just as you’re beginning to have an orgasm the next time you masturbate. You’ll feel your anus clamping down on your finger in synchronization with each wave of your orgasm. Having a nice-sized cock or toy in there gives the muscles something to grab a hold of, which further heightens the orgasmic experience.
And by the way, you’ll often hear me talk about the fact that having a live cock in my ass is much better than a strap-on, or fake one. A real cock has some give to it – when those sphincter muscles clamp down on a real cock, the cock gives a bit. This not only makes my asshole feel good, but it feels great to the guy’s cock as well (which often tends to bring about or heighten his orgasm as well).
And, finally, for you guys out there, there’s the possibility of stimulating the prostate gland. I’ll write an entire post about this shortly, but having a toy or a cock (real or a dildo) brush against that little walnut-sized gland through your rectum wall can add quite a bit of intensity to your orgasms. That’s one advantage you have over the females.
Since the average length of a cock is about 6 inches, butt fucking isn’t much of a problem for most couples. What happens if you want deeper penetration, though? What happens if the cock is longer than 6-8 inches? You get into a position where you’ll likely be penetrating the Sigmoid colon. It is safe to do this so long as you do it correctly.
Now, if you just shove something in there, it’s generally going to hurt like a bitch, and you run the risk of perforating the wall of your rectum or colon, which can lead to a nasty situation. If you take it slowly, though, and allow whatever is penetrating you to gradually push through that muscle at the junction of the Sigmoid colon, you can take quite lengthy objects in your butt, including those 9-inch + cocks.
It’s generally not a good idea to use something hard to do deep penetration – like a hard dildo with a pointed end. You need something relatively soft and pliable, like a soft latex or jelly dildo, or a real live cock. The human penis, even though it is “hard” when it is erect, it still pliable and will help push the colon into a straight line.
The major problem with deep penetration, of course, comes about when you get past that muscle into the colon. As I said, that holds back fecal matter until the body’s ready to dispose of it, so once you push the head of that cock past it, you’re going to be rooting around in shit. This is where an enema will come in most handy.
First let me say that, as a general rule, it isn’t necessary to use an enema for basic anal sex. As long as you’re healthy, eating a good diet, and keep yourself hydrated normally, at most you’re just going to have some residue in your rectum. For many this isn’t a problem. But, if you want to take the step to ensure the cleanliness of the experience, an enema is the way to do it.
An enema is basically just an infusion of liquid into the rectum for the purposes of cleaning out the lower intestinal tract. Many people are familiar with them as a part of the preparation for lower abdominal surgery – they do this so if the intestines are nicked, there’s nothing in there to contaminate the abdominal cavity (which can lead to a nasty, even fatal, infection). The same principles are involved in preparation for anal sex – clean out the lower intestines so that there’s nothing in there to get in the way of your fun. There are basically two kinds of enemas.
The first is a quick enema (some refer to it as anal douching) – one you do just for a quick cleaning of the rectum for “basic” anal sex. Buy yourself a Fleet Enema package at your local drug store, empty it out (they contain stuff [laxatives and other chemicals] you don’t need in your body), refill the bottle with lukewarm water, and administer the enema. You can reuse the bottle if you clean the tip off when you’re done. They also make “anal douche bulbs” for this purpose, though they tend to cost considerably more than a cheap enema bottle.
To administer the enema, go to your bathroom and fill up your bottle with warm water (about as warm as a baby might get – 100 degrees F or so). Get on your hands and knees, reach around and insert the nozzle of the bottle into your anus (lube it up first), and squeeze it until it is empty (withdraw it before you let go of your squeeze, lest you suck your new ass juice right back out into the bottle). You’ll feel your insides filling up – this is perfectly normal.
When you’re done emptying the bottle, just remain in place for a couple of minutes (as long as you can), then get up, sit on the toilet, and let go, pushing the water out. Then, repeat the cycle another two or three times until the water you expel is clear. This is your indication that you’ve done as much as you can to rid your rectum of fecal material. When you’re done, clean up your bottle and put it away for its next use. The whole process takes about 15 minutes or so.
The second kind is the deep enema. This involves filling the rectum and lower intestines with two quarts or so of warm water to do a deep cleaning of the entire lower sigmoid colon in addition to the rectum. You’ll do this with an enema or douche bag. Generally speaking, a deep enema isn’t necessary for most anal sex. Like I said, though, if you’re going to be getting fucked by someone with a longer than average cock, or it’s going to be some seriously intense pounding (even with a smaller cock, the recto-sigmoid muscle will tend to relax with a lot of physical exertion), this will go a long way towards making the experience cleaner. I have one client who loves to put me face down on the bed and just rail my ass until he cums, so when I know I’m going to be seeing him I’ll do this kind of enema.
Doing this is basically the same as with the bottle, except you have a nozzle that is inserted a good ways into the rectum. Hang the bottle on a towel rack or something similar, lube up the nozzle, get on your knees, and insert the nozzle about six inches. When you buy these bags, they come with two nozzles. One is designed for women to douche with, the other is designed specifically for enemas. I prefer using the one designed for douching because it doesn’t just spray the water straight in – it kind of disperses it, which helps clean off the walls of the rectum as the water goes in.
Open the valve on it for a few seconds, allowing water to flow into your butt, then stop it and reopen it again after a few seconds. Repeat the cycle until all of the water is drained out of the bag. Once this is done, withdraw the tube, remain in position as long as you feel comfortable, then get up and sit on the toilet. Allow the water to drain out. Since you’ve gotten water way up into your colon, it’ll take some time for all of it to drain out. This will take about 15 minutes to do initially, and then after another 30 minutes or so, you’ll need to revisit the toilet to allow more to drain out. After that second seating, you’ll likely want to follow up with a quick enema to flush out any material remaining in the rectum.
Regardless of which type you use, you need to wait for at least 30-60 minutes or so following the enema before you begin penetration. This is because the enema will wash away much of the natural mucous lubrication found in the rectum, and it’ll take a few minutes for it to restore itself. This mucous has two primary functions – it is alkaline, so it helps neutralize the acidic bacteria in the intestines, but it also facilitates movement of feces through the rectum. It does this through coating the rectum so that material can slide on through – this has the added benefit of partially assisting anal penetration (sort of like a lube). The body will also need time to absorb any excess water remaining in the rectum after you evacuate your bowels. This time period is perfect for foreplay and vaginal penetration (or, in my case quite frequently, time to finish getting ready and driving to a client’s location – I show up ready for anal right off the bat).
Most recommend that you use distilled water for enemas, and avoid tap water altogether. Since you never know from one city to the next what kind of garbage (including parasites) might be in the water, this is generally a good idea. Of course, most people don’t have bottles of distilled water lying around. You can buy it, or you can boil some water to have on hand for this purpose (letting it cool down before you use it obviously!). Filtered tap water will work as well if the filters remove parasites, bacteria, and chemicals.
Don’t over-do it with the enemas. Doing one every day will end up hurting you rather than helping (through irritation of the butt and hosing up the chemical balance in your lower intestine/rectum). As a general rule, taking a dump an hour or so before anal, then washing the asshole (including inserting a soapy finger), and rinsing it will suffice for most folks, even without an enema, especially if you don’t mind a bit of residue on the cock. So maybe consider using enemas for special occasions.
And one final point about enemas. For your first time or two, it is quite possible you’ll experience some mild intestinal cramping after the enema, especially of the deep type. This is normal and simply the body’s reaction to this new stuff being pushed into it. If they become unbearable, simply stop what you’re doing and go sit on the toilet and let gravity do its work.
Ass-to-Mouth Oral Sex (ATM)
A few years ago, it was relatively rare to see someone do ATM (or A2M) in porn, but these days just about every anal scene involves someone pulling a cock right out of an ass and putting it into someone’s mouth without cleaning it off. This is known as “ass-to-mouth” oral sex, or ATM for short. So, having seen it in porn, naturally, some people become interested in it and want to experiment.
Is it safe? Though some will argue that it isn’t, most agree that there’s nothing inherently dangerous about it. You’re not going to give yourself a disease you don’t already have, for example. And any e. coli bacteria present are going to be human e coli, which are not dangerous to you (only e. coli that comes from other animals is dangerous to humans). ((You may get an upset tummy from ingesting human e.coli, though)) Now, obviously, taking a cock out of one person’s ass and putting it into another person’s mouth may transmit diseases, especially hepatitis, so don’t do this with someone you’re not sure is disease-free. You’re not going to catch anything doing this that you wouldn’t catch from rimming them, for what that’s worth.
The obvious hesitancy about doing ATM, of course, is the potential for getting shit in your mouth, or tasting it on the cock. This is another thing that enemas will help you deal with. Since all of the fecal material has been washed out of the rectum, there shouldn’t be any material of any consequence on the cock when it comes out. The only thing you’re likely to taste is the lube you’re using, perhaps mixed with some salty taste that comes from any contact with skin.
So, basically, it boils down to personal preference or aversion. If it’s something you’re interested in trying and you want to see what your ass is going to taste like, penetrate yourself with a finger (use the same lube you’d use for butt sex), pull it out and stick it in your mouth. If you do try ATM, I’d personally highly recommend an enema beforehand.
This is another one of those things seen in porn that some people seem fascinated with, though I’m not sure how prevalent it is outside of porn sets. Felching is the practice of eating cum out of another person’s anus (some people refer to it as “creampie eating,” though that can apply to eating it out of another person’s vagina as well as their anus). The same rules apply as with ATM – if you’ve done your enema and you’re not averse to eating cum, then this should be relatively safe and clean as well.
You absolutely *never* want to go straight from anal penetration to vaginal penetration without cleaning off the cock (or changing condoms if you’re using them). Unlike with the gastrointestinal tract, which generally kills or neutralizes anything that goes into it, taking a contaminated cock into the vagina often results in infections (including UTIs and Pelvic Inflammatory Disease), pH imbalances (which can cause a variety of problems), and yeast infections.
Despite the commonly quoted line from Clerks II, the real statement should be, “You never go from ass to pussy.” Yes, they do this in porn quite often, but it is not uncommon at all for porn stars to get infections by doing this. The risk is just too great for the ordinary person.
People will often ask if there’s a particular type of lube that works best for anal penetration. The answer depends on what kind of butt sex you’re going to be having.
For plain old vanilla anal sex, regular water-based lubes like AstroGlide work just fine. However, if you’re going to be doing what I refer to as “porn anal,” which is the hardcore, lying on your tummy, guy with a huge cock pounding away at your asshole kind of anal, you should consider using a silicone-based lube. The reasoning, again, has to do with the way the rectum works.
As with all of the intestinal tract, the internal surfaces of the rectum are lined with thin, mucous membranes laced with blood vessels. These membranes and blood vessels are very porous and will allow your body to absorb just about anything put into it that can be absorbed; It’s the body’s way of ensuring it extracts every possible usable thing from the food you eat. This tendency is one reason why suppositories are often prescribed for medications that need to get into the blood stream in a hurry. You insert them, and the membranes begin to absorb the medications immediately. Obviously, anything liquid is going to be absorbed in a hurry as well, and this includes water-based lubes. So they typically don’t have a very long effective life when used for anal sex.
The alternative I recommend is silicone-based lube. Silicone is not absorbed at all in the rectum, and will remain effective for much longer periods of time. For basic anal you can usually get away with using water-based lubes, but you often have to stop and reapply them. With silicone, there’s little need to do that. The down side to silicone is that it will eventually be expelled, usually with the next bowel movement (or perhaps sooner if you sit on the toilet to let go of any semen ejaculated into your ass). If you’re going to be doing ass-to-mouth oral, though, you will want to use the water-based lubes, since some people have an aversion to silicone in their mouths.
If you want to be prepared for quick anal penetration (i.e., a quickie with the receiver pressed against the wall), or showing up just to be butt fucked, you might consider “pre-loading” the rectum with lube. This involves squirting a bit of lube into the rectum before you show up for the insertion. This is a common tactic with many porn stars you see on video taking a cock right into the ass without any (apparent) preparation whatsoever. The initial insertion is aided by saliva or cunt juice on the cock. Once the cock is inside the ass, it picks up the lube that has been pre-loaded it and it goes from there.
Wanna surprise a lover? Pre-load your ass with lube and when he comes home, get him hard with a bit of oral and tell him to fuck you in the ass. They even make little pre-loaded packets of lube specifically for this purpose. They’re known as shooters. This is a tactic I’ve used with people before. There are times when a guy just wants to do me in the ass, so I go to the bathroom and squirt one of these little tubes of lube into my butt. I can walk out, go down on him for a minute to get him hard and wet, bend over, and he can stick his cock right in without any additional preparation whatsoever.
A few other points
And, finally, there are a few other important points that should be made about anal sex as well.
- If you’re experiencing diarrhea, you should probably avoid anal sex altogether until it clears up. Even an enema isn’t going to solve that problem, and in fact may make it worse (water + diarrhea…I think you can see the problem there).
- If you’re using the diet aid called Alli (or its prescription form, orlistat), wait a couple of weeks for your body to acclimate to it before you do anal. For the first week or two you’re using it, your body expels raw fat as an oily liquid, and will produce a considerable amount of intestinal gas. These two things will combine to produce a, shall we say, less-than-positive experience. If you eat something particularly fat-laden while on Alli, you should also hold off on the anal for 48 hours or so. This oily substance doesn’t react well with water and you’ll end up with a considerable mess on your hands (…your ass, the floor, and maybe some other places as well).
- Learning to do Kegel Exercises not only strengthens your PC muscles and allows you to gain much better control of them, they also do the same with your sphincter muscles. The more you learn to control your PC and anal muscles, the stronger and deeper your orgasms are going to be, guaranteed.
- If you’d like more in-depth information on the pleasures and how-to’s of anal sex, Tristan Taormino has written extensively on the subject, and has a new DVD out about it. Do a search for her name at Amazon, B&N, or your favorite bookstore and pick up some of her work.
So there you have it – all the basics about using enemas to prepare for anal sex (and a few other nuggets thrown in as well). If you have any questions, ask them in the comments here and I’ll do my best to answer them or refer you to someone who can.